Sometimes……

Sometimes it just happens.. you know life.. home, kids, hubby, friends, work, church, ..Life. We see a puzzle box and we know the ending picture (CAUSE DUH its on the cover of the box) but when the puzzle is our life.. we don’t get to ‘see’ it. Instead we view it from our lens of ‘yesterday’. Yes we goal, dream and plan..(which is biblical) but

sometimes

it just happens. And there is no other reason to assume any different. A few days ago we announced we are adding to our family, #5 will come in late December or early January.. (SOO excited!) But the moment i found out (which mind you was about 8 weeks along) I began investigation nursing while pregnant because our sweet #4 was only 5 months (AND yes fully nursing every 3 hours–proof you can get pregnant!:) . I began pumping like a mad woman and determine to nurse. She began screaming when she was ‘done’ eating and became generally not a happy baby. My gut said ‘she is hungry’

My life was simple.. if baby cries pull out the good old shawl and nurse her ANYWHERE …. this has been my life for 4 kids now..

the shawl, the toes, the nursing tanks

the shawl, the toes, the nursing tanks

With # 5 growing and making his/her appearance my milk is going.. YES I know there are things to do ..but frankly I am ok with it. (well sort of)! Where the

sometimes…

comes in is here. With our 3rd baby WE tired 100 bottles and nipples all kinds of methods to get her to take a bottle. Poor girl had spirit and refused.. so for a whole year sister got to hang with me. NO LEAVING. I believe one time she almost passed out with Joel, she was screaming SOO hard. But with #4 ..

she took it. smiled and took the bottle with my milk in it. looked at me and loving said.. its ok mom.

SOMETIMES.. we forget God, he gots it.. he sees the puzzle.. HE knew #3 didn’t NEED to take the bottle.. yes it would have been nice but no REAL need. He made a way for #4. He loves Lydia so much he prepared her to take it with ease. Also giving me no doubt that #5 is HIS will!.

SOMETIMES.. i forget ‘his plans are for good’ FOR ME… This baby and all my other littles are God’s, he has intrusted them to us for a short time.. BUT they are still HIS.

Thank you Lord for paving a way, when although i planned to nurse for a year, you knew what we needed and provided. You love me more than I can ever imagine. So grateful to have you as my Savior.

I got a feeling this #5 is gonna teach me a WHOLE lot about my Savior and myself!:)

Let the journey begin!
~Jessica

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2 thoughts on “Sometimes……

  1. Teared up reading this. Even though I never nursed as long as you, the struggle was real when I made the decision not to. Sometimes we feel insecure in our life, in our choices, and in what happens, but then God always comes through and gives us wisdom and security, and fills in the gaps. So happy and thankful that I get to do life with you!

  2. God is faithful…and his journey is perfect…even in the moments it doesn’t quite feel like it. Love you-Big! Can’t wait to hear what God is doing next… =)

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